Being the last one among my siblings for me is a gift, but sometimes it will turn into a curse. I would not say anything about which part is a gift, neither curse. All i know is being bongsu made me the closest with Ibu.
Apa je aku buat, Ibu will back me up. Aku susah nak sembang pasal perasaan dengan Ibu. Aku sedih ke, aku penat ke, aku gaduh dengan member ke, apa je lah. Im not going to tell her every single thing happened. Paling manja, mengada, tapi susah nak ekspres rasa itu ini dekat Ibu. But you know instinct seorang mak. Whenever i feel down, rasa penat gila dengan segala kerja, rasa tak sedap hati, rasa nak demam or sakit, she will be there. She never ask me what's happening? Ok ke tak? Nope. (unless sakit la she will ask what kind of sickness ofcourse) She will come up with some quote. A simple quote to calm me down. And telling me what's going on sepanjang aku tiada di rumah, update itu ini. Sometimes when i felt too tired i will call Ibu, and just cry. I will cry without telling her the reason. Ibu dengar, dan cuma kata, nanti okay la tu. Kejap je tu rasa penat. Itu je. I dont have to say anything, after pouring all the tears on the phone, things always became better.
I wonder, how will i survive without you, Ibu? The only medicine i need when im sick and tired, is you. I dont need other.
And right now, im desperately need you.